Remember this awesome guy? He was in an awful car accident, bought a Bow Flex and lost all the weight he gained from being immobile for 2 years. He got in such great shape that he "gave all his fat clothes to his fat friends".What kind of jerkhole shit is that to say?? Pride of personal achievment and humility don't have to be mutually exclusive. Its as if the more you love yourself, the less you love everyone else.Think back to pretty much every teen movie ever made where there's an uncool kid who becomes cool, then curves all of his friends who loved him/her when they were lame.
I have this theory I've been cultivating for a couple of decades. It's pretty simple, really. Its a theory that states that an overwhelmig majority of our human race falls into one of two jerk categories:You basically are one, or waiting to become one. You have your every day garden variety who embraced their jerk role from birth, OR, you have our aformentioned Bow Flex friend who's jerk gene laid dormant until he became more confident about himself. THAT guy, is one the worst because he hid his jerkness behind tradegy,which makes it difficult for you to point out the fact that's he's being a jerk without looking like one yourself.
The origin of my theory began in elementary school. I was young, and I convinced my mother to let me bring my Transformers to school in hopes to one up the competition on show and tell day. The only damper of the day, was the unfortunate news that one of my classmates lost his home, and all of his things in a fire. The teacher put emphasis on the class to be a little extra nice to the kid on that day. Didn't seem like too unreasonable of a request considering the circumstances. Anyway, post show and tell we all get some play time with our toys, and the fire kid was being a little obnoxious. This nigga snatched my Transformer without asking, and was being far too aggressive transforming my Ultra Magnus into truck form. I forceably took my shit back from him, just like my father would have wanted me to. He responded... by snitching on me. He tells the teacher what had happened, (obviously)omitting his role in the mini altercation. She decided without hearing anything I had to say that it would be fair if not only he got play with my Transformer, but that he also got to get a free punch courtesy of my arm, with no retaliation..This moment was one of several that made me the jerk I am today.
Lets wrap this up with some facts and observations about this theory of mine: I'm the type of jerk of who often has an unyielding stance on my own opinions. This was created by situations where I was overruled by elders who just assumed their age made them right by default, or angry mobs of 2nd graders like in Ultra Magnus-gate. Situations where I was asked, and in some cases demanded to reconsider my stance, only to find out later, that I shouldn't have. I'm aware that I sometimes go too far with this, and its something I'm working on, ergo: don't trip, he aint through with me yet. The title was obviously inspired by George Costanza, which may not be so obvious if you're not familiar with Seinfeld. Also, I used the word "jerk" 10 times in this post, not including the title. Hope I wasn't too redundant.
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